I might as well start off this sentence by stating "it's the worst film I've ever seen in my life". So does that mean I hate this film? Not at all, because it's extremely entertaining. My definition of the term "worst" is just how bad it is made, not if I'm actually into the movie or not. Even if it was my favorite film of all time, that doesn't mean I would give this film 4 stars or 3 or 2 or not even 1. I watch this film over and over again constantly because it's so bad that it's hilarious. No this is not a comedy; even if Tommy Wiseau (the director/writer/producer and star of this film that completely fails at everything) advertised this as a black comedy, which wasn't his intension at all when making the film according to many sources. This film pretty much tries to be anything but comedy, but fails at that as well. That's how bad this film is.
First off, the plot of this film is nothing original at all. It's mainly known to be a Tennessee Williams inspired story (according to the trailer for this film) about a banker named Johnny (Tommy Wiseau) who's engaged to a woman named Lisa (Juliette Danielle) that later turns into a "tragedy" when she has an affair with Johnny's best friend Mark (Greg Sestero). That's pretty much it. They do however try to throw in some other characters in supporting roles with their own subplots that later on all turn out completely pointless or abandoned at the end of the movie.
You have Denny: an eighteen year old kid adopted by Johnny who loves to throw football, deal drugs and hit on Lisa. He sort of helps develop Johnny's character a bit, but nothing else after. You have Michelle: Lisa's best friend who knows Lisa's secret of her affair but does very little about it. There's Mike: boyfriend of Michelle's and does nothing but have sex with Michelle and refers to anything as a "tragedy" when something goes wrong for him. Then you have Peter: a therapist who gives good advice but later just disappears from the film without any explanation. There's finally Claudette: mother of Lisa who also knows Lisa's secret but does nothing except complains about how Johnny has money and is very secure for Lisa's future.
Looking at all those characters, it seems that not one of them could help move the story along at all; but is that all that's wrong with the movie? Of course not! What about the production? I'll try and sum it up for you quickly. The camera shots are out of focus, the editing is amateur at best, the sound effects are just plain awful, and the music could probably get a Razzie award for worst movie score of the year. No, that is not all an exaggeration. I'm dead serious. Wait, what about the acting? Well for the three leading actors... horrible! Some of the worst I've ever seen (Tommy Wiseau especially). I could probably say for all the other supporting actors, they're all really bad as well except for the actors who play Peter or Michelle. They could probably do well for themselves in the film business if they can this time find any movie with a better script than this film.
Now I've already told you the plot to this, but that still doesn't sum up on how god awful the writing is. Most of the scenes in this film are just completely pointless and serve no purpose to the story at all. For example, there's this one scene set in an alley where Mike complains to Johnny about an underwear tragedy that happened to him, Denny then enters and they throw football. Mark then enters and lightly taps Mike which makes Mike fall over like a clumsy Ox and injures himself. Mike is then carried away by Mark and Johnny says to Denny "Let's go home, Denny." and they both exit. The rest of the movie goes on not having mentioned any of that scene at all. That is one perfect example on you could pretty much sum up this whole movie: pointless film that's entertaining to watch.
There's so much more I could talk about this film, but it's just better if you go see the movie. That's right, I am actually recommending you to see what I believe is the worst film ever made. Why? Well there is a couple reasons: it's cult following, entertaining as hell, and info on how NOT to make a movie. It's cult following never really started until a few years ago even though the movie came out almost a decade ago, but for anytime this film shows up in your theaters for a limited time, you want to be apart of the experience. Because this movie has become so much fun to quote and mock constantly, people show it off in theaters by wearing tuxedos, throwing plastic spoons at the screen and yelling out quotes from the movie. It's on the same level as Rocky Horror Picture Show, only it's more entertaining in my opinion.
If you haven't seen the movie yet, see it because you REALLY don't know what you're missing no matter how bad this movie is.
Zero Stars
ZERO STARS
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